Stepping away from the anime spectrum for a while and yes, you already noticed that it is the end of the year and once again, we talk about top 10 lists of what was the best stuff we have seen or listened and what was absolute garbage.
This one is about the worst in movies and yes, there is some dog shit that played in theaters this year and thankfully, I didn’t see all the bullshit in 2015.
With that said, the first two entries are mostly honorable mentions because as bad as these movies are, there are worst movies in the top 10.
So…..we got ourselves another bad Will Ferrell movie? Yeah, you can tell by the trailers that it was going to be awful from the annoying gags that plays off every stereotype in the book from the ghetto tough black stereotype, the dumb-ass white person trying to act hood stereotype and the gay stereotype and all of them failed to get a chuckle out of me. Plus, You really want to beat Will Ferrell so bad, it’s not even funny.
So, this would be on the official list and believe me, this movie is nothing but a bad Fatal Attraction-ish rip-off straight from the house of Blum….Jason Blum yet this comes off unintentionally funny in some areas, especially near the end where it’s definitely a Looney Tunes short. Bad dialogue, suspense factor being 0 to negative 100 because you can predict all the shit that was going to happen from the get-go and well…hey, you can Jennifer Lopez naked and get fucked (and this is definitely R-Rated so no worries) but you can go to the Internet for that and look for that scene only…mainly on PornHub but that’s it.
And now for the official Top 10…..
10. THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT
Once again, a YA movie is on my worst-of list and while this entry of the Divergent series had a bit more action added in, it really isn’t all that thrilling and since most of it was already shown in the trailers, there was no impact seeing it. The acting is bland, the chemistry between Shailene Woodley and Theo James are about as wooden as a log cabin made by Lincoln and the supporting cast is such a waste here and my god, Miles Teller might be the only character to get a chuckle out of me (and believe me, he’s not done here on this list) and he needs a better agent the next year.
Also, stop making Jai Courtney a thing…..he’s not a good actor or even a decent actor at that and I bet he’s gonna suck in Suicide Squad once that comes out.
9. Home Sweet HELL
You wonder “what the hell movie is this?” This is a VOD release of a movie starring my least-favorite actress Katherine Heigl and it plays off as a dark comedy-thriller and it doesn’t work and it’s not solely on Heigl but the rest of the cast as well. Patrick Wilson, who is shown to be a good actor in past roles, is the spineless limp-dick husband of hers who cheated on her with this girl, killed the girl and goes on a killing spree. Jordana Brewster is….well, at least the Fast and Furious movies give her more to do than this and Jim Belushi……well, this is more of his alley so who gives a fuck about him. Yeah, it’s like a female Dexter in movie form except she doesn’t have a dark passenger and this is bad from the get-go.
8. Attack on titan (live-action)
People are worried about Americans fucking up live action adaptations of anime or manga and yet they forget the Japanese can fuck up shit, too and these 2 live-action movies are proof of that. Now, I don’t try to be the whole “THEY DIDN’T FOLLOW THE MANGA OR THIS ISN’T THE ANIME!!” spiel but this movie is soulless, predictable and left me no emotional effect like the show did for me plus, they made most of the established character like morons like Eren and oh my god, they really mistreated Mikasa and Hange seems more or less a fucking maniac only minus the fun and craziness about her and those worried about Levi not being in there…..be lucky!!! You want him in this mess? I don’t think so.
7. JUPITER ASCENDING
This one just screams of what happened if a light-novel anime turned into a live-action movie. Well, here’s your answer and why I say that is because it basically got most of the tropes like exposition of something I’m not going to give a damn about, the female lead that constantly needs saving by Channing Tatum the wolf-boy and of course, our main villain being the Academy Award winner Eddie REDMAYNE (!!) with his under acting and then OVERACTING by SCREAMING every word at the end of each SENTENCE!!! Also, this is another strike in the Wachowski’s filmography…maybe they could stick to either TV or do smaller movies the next time and I doubt Warner Bros. is going to want them again.
6. THE GALLOWS
Another found-footage shot by camcorder horror movie and yes, Blumhouse is the producer of this, yet again and it made money because it costs $10 to make this and yeah, this is pretty fucking terrible. I was annoyed by most of these characters the first few minutes and instantly said that if they killed off in a brutal way (they did), I wouldn’t care and I didn’t.
On paper, Pixels sound like something that can easily be a great fun adventure movie that can win the charm on many videogame people and audiences galore. However, it would work if you have somebody like Edgar Wright or Lord and Miller involved but instead, we get HAPPY fucking MADISON on this, meaning it’s an Adam Sandler vehicle and yes, this one sucked! Not only that, Sandler is just not giving a fuck anymore. The jokes are lazy with the VG references very Seltzerberg-ish, the characters are awful, annoying and especially creepy coming from Josh Gad’s character and the way they develop the relationship between Adam Sandler’s character and Michelle Monaghan’s character with her turning him down although HIS ASS TRIED TO KISS HER OUT OF NOWHERE and SHE’S THE SNOB AT THAT? Fuck that!! He’s a creepy fuck and fuck him at that. And yes, Kevin James as the President of the United States of America….North America. Maybe it’s a good thing Chris Rock wasn’t in this one.
All you motherfuckers that bitch about the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies and how they follow the same formula, especially this year with actually two good MCU movies, at least they have some enjoyment in them.
This movie is completely devoid of that as it is just set-up and exposition half of the movie and then it suddenly turns into a superhero movie near the end and that part wasn’t that thrilling…at all. I heard the Fantastic 4 has the dynamics of being not only a team, but family as well yet I didn’t see it in here as well. The other 2 movies did that better and those aren’t good movies at all. Not to mention, the performances are abysmal especially from Miles Teller and Kate Mara and as for Michael B. Jordan…..well, I’m lucky he’s in one of the best movies this year because he had no charisma in here and he is an actor with TONS OF IT!!! Fox, just give the rights back to Marvel and Marvel…..just make this to a TV series like Daredevil…its better suited for that.
Neil Blomkapp is now the director that you saw got talent in his early day but now….he’s nothing but a one-hit wonder. Chappie has much potential from its trailers but the problem of this one is focus. You focused on the wrong characters being the gangsters played by Die Antwoord and they aren’t even likable ones (well, Ninja and the Spanish dude, Yolandi is decent to say) or good actors but yet even if they did, Dev Patel as the inventor of Chappie and yet another spineless nerd that’s so weak to defend himself is tiring as well but the worst performance definitely goes to Hugh Jackman because man, he makes a whiny-ass villain and a basic bitch at that about him wanting his robot on the street.
2. Fifty shades of grey
How to sex seem boring even when you add S&M to the mix? You get the film adaptation of Fifty Shades of GREY!! Oh, god, this was a fanfiction….no, wait, A TWILIGHT FANFICTION that has made in a Blackberry, turned into a legit book, sold millions of copies and now it’s one of the top-grossing movies of the year earning half a billion dollars WORLDWIDE!! No, what we got here is a movie that thinks they’re being sexy and provocative but in reality, they are nothing but abusive, harmful and tedious. I never thought I had to say in a movie like this that I got tired of seeing naked people but this one has done it. Oh, and to top it off, there’s two more sequels following this and now a parody starring Marlon Wayans is coming…..well, in a few days and you can easily put this in your worst-of list for next year.
And now, the moment you have been waiting for……the #1 worst movie in 2015……
The one movie that is easily a bunch of horseshit it is…..
Yes, I picked a title that exclusively airs on Netflix for fuck’s sake and the worst thing is…..I didn’t want to watch it at first but me and my friend of mine decides to be stupid for a minute and watch this….and we regretted it since. We knew this was going to be bad but I had no idea what degree of bad it was going to get. Once again, another bad Happy Madison production starring Adam Sandler as another Mary S—wait, Gary Stu character who is awesome as the shit he does. My god, he’s become a Jewish Kirito at this point. These other actors, I’m really starting to feel sorry for and as much as I don’t like Taylor Lautner as an actor, he had the worst part of it and seriously Vanilla Ice as Mark Twain? Better yet a woman named Beaver Breath or Never Wears Bra…played by his wife!? Yeah, don’t give any ass for a month or so. Bad jokes galore and the shit jokes…..oh god, the shit jokes are obnoxious and in bad taste as always.
Don’t make the same mistake I did….avoid this movie on your Netflix queue. Don’t recommended a friend this movie because it is so horrid and that’s why The Ridiculous Six is the #1 worst movie of 2015.
And that wraps it up for the Worst. Stay tuned later on for my BEST OF 2015.
I’m MAK2.0 aka The Blue Hybrid, bringing all the elements in one format.
GET HARD, JUPITER ASCENDING & THE GALLOWS – courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures
THE BOY NEXT DOOR & FIFTY SHADES OF GREY – courtesy of Universal Pictures
THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT – courtesy of Summit Entertainment
HOME SWEET HELL – courtesy of Stage 6
ATTACK ON TITAN (parts 1 and 2) – courtesy of Toho
PIXELS & CHAPPIE – courtesy of Columbia Pictures / Sony
FANTASTIC FOUR (FANT4STICK) – courtesy of Twentieth Century Fox
THE RIDICULOUS 6 – courtesy of Netflix