G.I. Joe: Retaliation (or just call it the official Reboot) – HM Movie Reviews

Original Date:  March 31, 2013

Now when we last left G.I. Joe in the movie franchise of the title of The Rise of Cobra, many people who have seen it showed their complete vitriol and hatred of the movie and even though I sort of find the first one stupid but it was a little fun at some parts, it wasn’t that faithful to the toy franchise but then again, that movie was released in the same year of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and I would rather watch The Rise of Cobra than that other one. I should’ve talked about this movie 9 months ago in the summer but unfortunately at that time, Paramount delayed it due to them wanting 3D, so they have to do a post-conversion job, added more Channing Tatum in the reshoots since he was on the rise with most of his movies from last year, but I think it’s because Hasbro doesn’t want another Battleship at their hands.

Continuing from The Rise of Cobra’s end, Cobra master of disguise Zartan has taken the place of U.S. President and is working on freeing their captured leader Cobra Commander and he organizes an attack on the G.I. Joes in Pakistan and frames them to remove anyone who could potentially stop Cobra. Now, a few surviving Joes, led by Roadblock must discover the conspiracy, avenge their fallen comrades and save the world.

Fortunately, aside from it being pushed back to March 2013, I got to say that from the look of the trailers, this was a Step Up from the first movie……get it? Because the director for this is Jon M. Chu, whose other films are basically Step Up 2 the Streets and Step Up 3-D and we all know where we all recognize Channing Tatum from and the writers are Rhett Weese & Paul Wernick, both of whom wrote Zombieland and I’m glad to report that it is official: This movie is way better than its predecessor, but it isn’t a great movie overall.

But I wasn’t expecting anything high caliber of art considering it’s a movie based off a toy line from Hasbro and what I got from it was a mindless but functional action movie. Now here are the good things about the movie with the cast: Dwayne Johnson (or The Rock) was very entertaining as Roadblock as I thought he was a major casting improvement from people like Marlon Wayans but it was nothing special about it. I just think the new rule of Hollywood is to add The Rock to make your movie franchises better. Jonathan Pryce or Arnold Vosloo as him playing the President show the most character in a villain that makes me rethink of who I want to win in the end but like the other movie, I still like Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow for being characters that capture my interest, especially Snake Eyes with him being stealth mode in battle and his continuing rivalry with Storm Shadow.

Now with the bad and mixed: Flint played DJ Coltrona or as I call him, “The Generic Karl Urban” is nothing more than the secondary muscle of the group and while Adrianne Palicki may be hot as Lady Jaye and HOT DAMN, SHE IS!!!….that’s just it aside from her backstory or what little is given to her and also I felt like Jinx was way underdeveloped in the movie and felt like less than a sidekick. Bruce Willis……..well, at least it was better than Die Hard 5. While some of the action scenes like the Ninja Mountain fight was incredible, the cross-cutting editing was annoying as hell and I couldn’t make out some of those scenes when action is involved and Ray Stevenson as Firefly….it felt like he was the big baddie in the movie but it didn’t came to me all the way, not that he sucked, he was decent in that role and now for the weird shit….meaning all the cameos in this movie ranking from bottom to top:

Walton Goggins as the Warden who was first holding Cobra Commander in a maximum security prison, DeRay Davis as someone that Roadblock knows way back, James Carville appearing in this in general and last but definitely not least…..THE RZA as a Blind Master!!! I mean, holy shit!! I laughed my ass off when that happened and some Man with the Iron Fists moments and believe it or not, I did pictured “Shame on a N***A” playing to the fight scenes. Hell, I even thought of “Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthin’ to Fuck Wit!” playing in this. Also, I saw in 2D but I will not waste any time watching this in 3D and the fact that Channing Tatum is vastly written out of the movie within the first 20 minutes of the movie and it brought out nothing….it was like, POOF, he’s gone and kind of forgotten in the next few minutes.


FINAL VERDICT: This is a definite step up from the last movie and it does what an action movie should do. While it’s the better of the two movies, I would not rush to see in theaters that quickly, possibly give it a week or two before seeing it and if you can, see it in 2D (although I haven’t seen in 3D, but still, SAVE YOUR DAMN MONEY!!!) and keep your expectations at a minimum.


So how does the Retaliation hold up?

5.5/10 – High RENTAL


Well, that’s another movie review from me.


And Until then, I’m MAK2.0 aka The Hybrid, bringing all the elements in one format.


G.I. JOE: RETALIATION – courtesy of Paramount Pictures & Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures.

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