The Blade Trilogy Retrospective – Part 3 – Blade: Trinity

ORIGINAL DATE: October 26, 2011

You knew it would come down to this……and unfortunately, this must be completed.

The final part of the Blade Trilogy Retrospective and it’s the part that many hated.

(This might contain spoilers.)

 

 

 

This is Blade: Trinity.

So, what was wrong with this movie? Because that’s what I’m going to be doing the whole review, pointing out the dumb shit in this movie because it really disappointed me that the series would fall into Third Movie Syndrome, when the second sequel of an successful franchise (X-Men, Spider Man, Pirates of The Caribbean) would be the least favorite of them.

Where do I start?

The Director:

At first, Guillermo del Toro was slated to return to film Trinity back he dropped out to do Hellboy with Ron Perlman, but he isn’t the reason why the movie sucks. David S. Goyer, the writer of the previous films, decides to take over as the director. Look, Goyer is a excellent comic-book screenwriter and films like the Nolan Batman series are most of his evidence, he can be hit or miss, but this guy should not direct again. This guy is terrible and it’s not like after that, he quit. He made 2 other movies, which proves that, for example:

The Invisible with everybody’s favorite punching bag and awful Goku actor Justin Chatwin

and The Unborn, the Michael Bay-produced movie where the only thing I remember from that movie was the poster of Odette Annable’s (formerly Yustman) in her panties .

Get Rid of Abraham Whistler

Those sons of bitches!! You motherfuckers!!! Why would kill Whistler in the first movie only to bring him back in the second movie and then kill him again in the third movie? He was one of the best characters in the series. Which leads me to my next complaint of the third entry.

Unneccessary New Sidekicks

Look, I now that Abigail Whistler, the daughter of Abraham Whistler and Hannibal King are originals in the comic book series, so it would be true to it, but here are two problems with that: 1. These characters really suck in different ways. 2. They get more screen time than Blade, the title character of the movie. Why would you give less time to the main star? No wonder why most people hate the Transformers movie. Jessica Biel as Abigail acted really vanilla and stoic throughout the movie. Mostly she is here to fill the “Whistler” void and a little sex appeal. Also, she really needs to work on that scream she did. Ryan Reynolds can be either swarmy, kinda funny, and also annoying. In here, the funny/annoying scale was 20/80, mostly he was annoying. You can crack jokes some of the time but it gets really dull and lame. Reynolds, as of today, already been thru bad comic book movie adaptations, although with the little screen time he had in Wolverine, he is on 2 strikes.

The Villain

Remember when I said that Deacon Frost wasn’t that great as a villain in the first movie? I take that back. This new Dracula, or Drake (Really? I’m supposed to fear a guy named Drake that isn’t the rapper from DeGrassi?) is not only the lamest villain of the Blade movies but he is an cowardly killer. What pisses me off about him is after the final fight scene, Dracula (I’m not calling him Drake) said that Blade fought with honor, like he knows about honor. In the film, he threw a teenage boy out the window, attack a teenage goth girl, kidnaps a baby and put it in harm’s way, kills his familar, unarmed Nightstalkers, a blind woman and kidnaps the blind woman’s kid with the growing rapey fingers. There is nothing honorable about him. He is a horrible villain and Dominic Purcell, from Prison Break, is just hamming it up in my opinion. The other villains are only memorable for hitting everything and everyone. They are barely worth my time.

The Alternate Cuts & Endings

Let’s see, when Whistler dies, the alternate cut shows Blade screaming in anguish. It wasn’t needed.

The alternate opening of Bently Tittle Live, It wasn’t needed.

The sex scene or something like that with Dracula & Parker Posey’s character. It’s wasn’t needed.

The alternate ending was the dumbest ending of them all. We don’t know if Blade gave in to the thirst or not and the other endings was a lead-in to an Nightstalkers movie, with them hunting werewolves. I take that back. That was the dumbest ending of the movie.

Well, the soundtrack didn’t pissed me off and The RZA sorta saved it from being a complete and utter failure.

But critically and financially, the film bomb hard. Really hard and possibly the reason why the death of the franchise. There was news about a reboot or continuation. Marvel Studios bought back the rights to Blade, so New Line Cinema can’t distribute them anymore. They couldn’t anyway since NLC is now Warner Bros. and they do only DC adaptations. Snipes did sue New Line, Goyer and the producers for leaving him out of the process of making the film. I don’t blame him.

My final score: 3.5/10

Spill.com rating: High Some ‘Ol Bullshit!

It should have try harder.

 

 

‘Til then, I’m MAK2.0 aka HybridMedia, bringing all the elements in one format and oh yeah, Happy Halloween.

Now, here’s the good thing that came out of that movie.

Blade (the characters, trademarks, copyrights and logos) –  courtesy of Marvel Comics

Blade: Trinity – New Line Cinema.

 

Fatal – performed by The RZA – soundtrack on Watertower Records (formerly New Line Records)

 

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